


Brothers

by Juliaenerys



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Cake, Fluff, I APOLOGIZE, M/M, Smut, i liked it a lot, i think u might enjoy it, little bits of angst but really not much at all, shamelessly advertising my story, so uh this is quite a cool plot idea imo and there's a bit of smut as well, sorry about the title btw, this is written with the help of a prompt a friend gave me, yea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-22 04:55:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2495207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juliaenerys/pseuds/Juliaenerys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Luke finds himself attracted to his older brother's friend. Or in which Luke seeks for adulthood again and again and fails every time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this obviously involves luke's brother jack AND i'm perfectly aware that ben hemmings exists (man he's just as attractive as luke and jack) but he's not in the story for a very simple reason: i was too lazy to create another character  
> set me on fire

 

 

                Luke’s shoes hit the humid floor in soft, round beating sounds. He’s running and his backpack bounces up and down again and again. He cannot wait to be back home, where chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk are waiting for him. Luke Hemmings, thirteen-year-old Luke Hemmings, cannot wait to be back home. He crosses the street and reaches the opposite side. At last, the black gate, the climbing roses on the stone wall. Luke pushes the gate of his garden open and walks in.

                It doesn’t take long for him to reach the front door. He knows his brother Jack is already here. Luke turns the doorknob and gets in. It feels good to escape the cloudy, chilly October weather. “Jack! I’m home!” he calls. When he gets no reply, Luke thinks his brother must be too far to hear him and he puts his backpack down on the floor to take off his shoes. The tiling is cold beneath his socks and he shivers. “Jack,” Luke says again. He takes a look into the kitchen; empty. He’s about to go pour himself a glass of milk when he hears a voice.

                “Don’t move! Put your hands behind your head, get on the floor and tell me where the money is!”

                Luke’s blood runs cold. When you’re thirteen years old, you tend to think you’re capable of doing much more than you actually are. His parents warned him about the current situation, they told him it might happen and they did tell him what he was supposed to do if it did. Luke knows that. But in that moment, he realizes that he really is only thirteen years old and that he remembers absolutely nothing of the instructions he had in case someone broke in the house. He turns around slowly, raising his hands to his head.

                He sees a young man under the kitchen doorframe. He’s tall, and looks about the same age as Jack. Luke’s starting to shake. The young man has tanned skin, dark hair, dark eyes, and Luke is scared of him. He kneels down and ends up hurting himself. “Faster,” the guy says. “Where is it?”

                “I don’t know,” Luke stammers. “Please don’t hurt me.” He gives up trying to hold the position he was told to hold and hides his face in his hands. Now he wishes his mother were there. He hears the young man walking to him and mumbling curses and he thinks he’s going to die, but nothing comes. Except a chuckle. Luke opens his eyes.

                “I’m Calum, Jack’s friend from school.” The young man is grinning. “He’s upstairs getting changed, he stained his shirt with Pepsi. Sorry.” Another chuckle. Luke realizes he’s been tricked and he feels really stupid. Calum helps him get back up and Luke looks at him more closely. Actually, he looks nothing like a burglar and Luke wonders how he even believed him because it wasn’t credible at all. Luke starts thinking he needs to learn how to control his emotions. That’s when his brother walks in, all smiles and unawareness.

                “Hey, little shit,” he says, cracking a big grin. “How was your day?”

                Luke only glances at Calum then back at Jack. “Is he really your friend?”

                “Sorry about that, I know it sucked,” Calum apologizes again.

                “You did the burglar thing to him?” Jack asks Calum – who seems to actually be his friend. For some reason, he looks more amused than surprised. “Dude, I wish I had been there to watch.”

                “It wouldn’t have worked,” Calum says with a shrug.

                Luke wonders what that inside joke about a burglar thing is but he doesn’t dare ask. He’s still strangely intimidated by Calum, even though the fear has faded. While his brother gets the cookies out of the cupboard, he sits down at the table. Calum sits across from him and he smiles. “You’re thirteen, right? How’s school?”

                Luke decides he’s okay with answering his questions but he doesn’t smile back. “Fine,” he says. Calum reaches out across the table to ruffle his hair. Luke makes a funny face, but when he hears Calum laugh, he can’t help smiling. “Stop that,” he says, holding back a giggle. “Stop that.”

 

 

 

~

 

 

                Luke slowly learns not to be afraid of Calum and it’s actually not that difficult. Although Calum is his brother’s friend, he’s quite nice to him and takes time to ask him questions about what’s going on at school, what videogames he plays or how his guitar lessons are going when they see each other. It makes Luke feel like he’s a thing of interest, even for a while. On a Saturday night, Luke and Jack’s parents invite him to dinner and he makes the whole table laugh all the time. Luke chokes on his broccoli and has to gulp down a glass of water to avoid spitting them out all over his father’s shirt.

                Jack is seventeen years old, it’s his last year of high school, while Luke is still in middle school. Calum and he are in the same class. Luke envies the two of them. He doesn’t really have a friend like that. Not that the people in his class aren’t nice, it’s just not the same. He wants to find someone like that. Calum says ‘dude’ all the time. Luke thinks it sounds like a cool word and he decides to start saying it too.

                Thirteen-year-old Luke begins to get in touch with his feelings and he realizes that this girl called Sarah somehow manages to look much prettier than any other one in his class. She wears glasses and she has wavy brown hair swaying when she moves. Her blue eyes are as blue as Luke’s favourite colored pencil and he thinks that they would match his own very well. For a mysterious reason, Sarah’s name appears a little everywhere on Luke’s copybooks.

                Luke isn’t the type of person to tell anyone about his feelings. He’s always been quite secretive. Even as a teenager, his brother grew up to be someone much more effusive. When Luke’s head is full to bursting of thoughts and emotions, he sucks them up and gives it time for them to fade away. However, that night, there isn’t enough time. Luke was just planning to play video gamesin his room alone. His parents aren’t there and Jack was supposed to look after him but he ended up offering Calum to sleep over, as he does almost every time such a thing occurs. When Luke walks along the corridor, he sees his brother’s head popping out the stairway to the attic. “We need a third player, little shit.”

                Luke cannot help but feel a kind of sense of pride when his brother asks him to come play together because it’s quite a rare thing. He quickly climbs the stairs and reaches the attic. It was made into a playroom – the television set is on a small table in the middle of the attic, with the console next to it. Luke’s guitar is in the corner. Calum’s sitting on the carpet, cross-legged, and he grins at Luke. “Hey there.” Luke settles down with them and grabs a joystick.

                It’s the first time Luke is allowed to play games with Jack while one of his brother’s friends is there and it’s a thrilling experience. Calum is a good player. Luke tries hard to do his best. “Loser gets tickled,” Jack announces. Luke already knows what his fate is. He attempts running away when the game ends but his brother catches him and pushes him to the ground. Luke lets out a scream but it turns into hysterical laughter when fingers tickle his skin in the crook of his neck. It feels horrible, but he feels great.

                When it finally ends, Luke lies on the floor, breathless and chuckling. Jack has gone to the kitchen to bring back Pepsi. It’s getting late. “So, how’s your everyday life, son?” Calum asks him.

                Luke smiles because Calum keeps calling him son when he asks questions and he has no idea why, but he finds it hilarious. “Great,” he grins.

                “How are the girls in your class? I bet they all fancy you, look at ya,” his friend’s brother carries on.

                Luke grimaces. “Not really. There’s that one girl –” he begins.

                “Did I hear girl?” Jack says as he comes back, wiggling his eyebrows. Luke rolls on the floor. His brother’s definitely not allowed to know about Sarah. When he says nothing more, Jack tells him casually, “We’ll have to tickle you if you don’t tell us about _that one girl_.” Luke groans. He sits up and pours himself a glass of Pepsi before drinking it and wiping his mouth with the end of his sleeve. He decides to act like a professional – really, he’s thirteen years old, almost fourteen.

                “Yeah, Sarah,” he says.

                “Pretty name,” Calum smiles. Luke doesn’t know why, but this makes him feel like Calum approves of his choice and it’s strangely pleasant. “What does she look like?”

                “She’s got brown hair and blue eyes and glasses,” Luke says with a stupid grin.

                “Little shit’s got a crush,” Jack sniggers. Luke throws a cushion at him. Calum giving him a thumbs up is more than enough to make him smile.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

                One year later, middle is school is ending. Fourteen-year-old Luke still likes Sarah. He feels like it all needs some sort of closure. To wrap it up, he decides to confess. And what could be a better occasion to do so than the big last-day-of-school party? July’s a very hot month this year and although there wasn’t a single drop of alcohol in anyone’s glass, Luke feels dizzy. He somehow manages to ask Sarah to go outside for a moment and they both lean on the balustrade of a balcony. To Luke’s mind, Sarah has never looked prettier than in this very moment. Her dark hair seems to wave like silk in the wind. “What did you want to tell me?” she asks, and Luke drowns in her blue eyes.

                “I – I like you,” Luke blurts. A smile forms on Sarah’s lips. She leans in to place a soft kiss on his cheek. Luke goes as red as the young girl’s dress.

                “You’re cute, Luke,” Sarah giggles. “I’m flattered.” Before she walks away, she wraps her arm around Luke’s shoulders and gives him a friendly squeeze. Luke smiles back clumsily. His heart aches but nevertheless, he feels like he needed to get this off his chest. That’s what closure is supposed to bring, isn’t it? He goes back inside after a moment, thinking that at least, he can start high school anew.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

                Jack is in a terrible mood during the days following the end of the year. This is due to the fact that Calum told him the school he would be attending for the next three years was too far from home for him not to rent a studio and move there. Luke understands how it must feel to part from his best friend – he himself is sad to see Calum leave. However, Jack manages to convince their parents to invite him to spend a week with them in their house near the sea. Luke is happy about this. He likes to go there with his family, but Calum undoubtedly brings animation and exceptional joy in the home when he’s there.

                Indeed, the week turns out to feel even better than he thought, more than a thousand times. Luke gives up counting how many times Calum and Jack push him into the water, throw sand at him or steal his clothes after they go swimming. And there’s something else – he seems to have grown up enough to satisfy Jack’s wishes, which is why Jack allows him to spend time with them even more often than usual. Luke decides he’s okay with not seeing Sarah ever again. He’s growing up.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry again about last chapter it was really really short hahaha  
> anyway i hope you'll enjoy this one! lots of changes...

 

 

                Entering high school really is like a step in his life for Luke. And he doesn’t enjoy it. He’s never been an excellent student and his grades start to crumble down slowly, now that Jack isn’t there to help him with his homework anymore, taken away by his political science studies. Luke already knows he’ll have to do the first year again. He grows to hate school and the people whom he meets there. It’s the kind of thoughtless, unfounded, blind hatred, but it comforts him. Luke decides that if he shuts his eyes to it all, it will pass in a blur as fast as he wants it to. And for some reason, it works. He doesn’t know how on Earth he does it, but Luke makes more than two whole years fly away like leaves in the wind.

                And suddenly it’s the last one. Nothing much has changed, at least on the outside. Eighteen-year-old Luke is a messy person. He’s grown taller and broader. He doesn’t control who his heart skips beats for. He feels like everything is just slipping through his fingertips. Luke needs something to hold on to. And that’s when Calum comes back.

                Jack’s excitement cannot be missed when he tells their parents that his best friend moved back in town. Luke smiles. He’s missed Calum too; the young man had grown into a second brother to him – though not blood-related, they obviously got close quickly. “We’re going to the movies tomorrow,” Jack says. Luke’s about to ask if he can come as well, but the words don’t leave his lips. _He_ _’_ _s not your best friend, he_ _’_ _s Jack_ _’_ _s_ , he thinks. Gulping down his glass of milk, he thinks he’ll see Calum another day.

                The differences in Calum are both obvious and impalpable. When Luke sees him for the first time after all this time, he stops to lean against the wall and look at him without saying anything. Calum’s typing on his phone. Luke catches a glimpse of black tattoos on his arms, his neck. The golden hues of his skin, so familiar, look even smoother than before. There seems to be a crease along his forehead and faint dark circles under his eyes. Luke raises his hand to wave at him. “Hey,” he says. Calum blinks and he looks up. The colors of surprise appear all over his face.

                “Luke,” he says. “Damn, look at ya.” Luke notices he hasn’t lost his accent and it brings a spontaneous smile to his lips. Calum rises from the sofa and Luke expected him to have remained much taller than him but he finds out they’re the same height. Suddenly he feels like high school didn’t make him grow up – this very moment did. Calum takes him in. Luke feels observed but he’s fine with it. Time comes undone for a moment. “You’re –” Calum begins.

                “Little shit’s all grown up!” Jack says cheerfully as he walks in with a box of cookies. He comes to Luke and ruffles his blonde hair. Luke sighs amusedly.

                “Tall. Didn’t expect you to be so tall,” Calum says with a smile. He sounds tired. He sounds quiet. Older. Luke likes the difference. He had no idea seeing Calum again would make him feel that warm inside.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

                Calum told them he had moved into an apartment of his own but back in their hometown. The new school he attends is much closer. Of course, Jack is delighted to be able to see his best friend regularly once again. Luke understands. The age difference seems to have faded and even after those three years, it seems to him that he’s never been closer to his brother and Calum than now. Although Jack and his best friend both are twenty-two, they don’t mind Luke’s presence and finding out you can be this happy by being with other people is one of the most amazing things Luke ever got to experience.

                It seems to start on the day Calum crashes at their place after a particularly wild party. Luke’s parents are asleep and he’s the one tiptoeing to the front door in the middle of the night, shivering, bare feet brushing the cold tiled floor silently, to greet them. He lets his brother and Calum in and they stumble into the hall, chuckling and patting each other’s back stupidly. Luke observes them. He’s seen Jack drunk many times, but not Calum. In a way, it's a discovery. Amusedly, Luke finds himself walking them to the bedroom. Calum and Jack are completely wasted. Luke lays them down, pajamas on, bed sheets, close your eyes. Wake me up if you feel sick.

                The next morning, Jack and his best friend get up long after Luke and his parents. Watching TV absently, Luke sees them come downstairs. Eyes are red, skin is pale. "Thanks for last night, little shit," Jack says tiredly. Calum's smile is just as grateful. Luke and he look at each other for several seconds, unwilling – _unable_ to look away. Luke stands up. For some reason, a sense of duty seizes him and he feels like he must take care of the two older boys. He cuts apples for them, makes some toast, coffee and eggs. As Calum and Jack eat, he sits on the kitchen counter and observes the two of them.

                Calum's body is wrapped in a white sleeveless shirt and the sweatpants he borrowed from Jack hang low on his hips. Luke, little by little, gets engrossed in staring at him, thinking Calum looks reassuring. Luke feels at home in that moment. Really at home. His brother is the one snapping him out of his daydream. "Luke. Where are Mom and Dad?" he asks. Luke blinks his wonders away.

                "Out for groceries," he mumbles, hopping off the working surface. "They'll be back around twelve." Jack and Calum get up and say they'll have a shower. "Okay," Luke says absent-mindedly. As his brother and Calum head to the bathroom, he does the dishes and cleans the table. He hears water running upstairs, soft and low. Luke closes his eyes. Something in him is moving, stirring. He begins to think he's sick. Grimacing, Luke goes to his bedroom and lies down on his bed, wondering what might be wrong.

                When Luke opens his eyes to the blurred picture of his brother and Calum bent over him, he realizes he must have drifted into sleep. "Is something wrong?" he croaks.

                "You, little shit," Jack smiles softly. "You're sick," he adds.

                "How long have I been sleeping?" Luke asks.

                "A long time. It's four p.m.," Calum says. "Liz just left to go to the pharmacy and buy meds."

                "I'm not sick," Luke says. He sits up. A strange, disturbing sensation washes over him and without noticing, he's suddenly lying again.

                "We've been drinking but you’re the one who got the hangover," his brother chuckles. "You can sleep, Mom will wake you up when she's back." Luke nods. He looks at Calum. The young man smiles in a comforting way. Luke doesn't look away. It feels good. He closes his eyes.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

                In late November, news is that one of Luke's parents' closest friends is getting married. She's a woman Luke knows from having seen her a couple times. The ceremony is on a weekend, in the Northern part of the country. The Hemmings are to go – however, Jack has an important appointment on Saturday morning, which is why he has no other choice but to stay. It doesn't bother Luke one bit because it allows him to stay home as well. He was planning to watch Netflix all day and night, but on Friday, Jack tells him Calum offers them to sleepover at his place. Luke is surprised he's invited too, but he happily accepts.

                Luke spends his Friday afternoon home alone, while Jack is at school. He buries himself in his homework, among textbooks, notes, equations and essays he doesn’t understand and doesn’t want to understand. His mother texts him eventually to ask if everything’s okay. Luke tells her they’re sleeping at Calum’s that night. Jack goes straight from school to his best friend’s place and Luke decides to join them later. He wants to take his time to pack his things and get ready. He can’t quite grasp the reason why he wants that night to be perfect. It’s been long since he had the occasion to have fun like this. It takes him a lot of time to decide what night clothes to bring and whether to bring games or food. In the end, he changes shirts twice before he leaves the house, earphones plugged in.

                Calum’s apartment isn’t far from their house, which is a good thing because this way, he doesn’t need to take the bus. Luke walks fast. It’s fresh outside, and the wind is blowing, he feels it through his jacket. When he arrives, it’s about half past five. Calum lives in a small building. Luke pushes the button on the security phone and he hears Calum’s voice. “Yeah?”

                “It’s Luke,” Luke says. Faintly, he makes out his brother’s laugh in the background.

                “Come in,” Calum replies. “The door’s open.” Luke walks in and he climbs the stairs up to the second floor. The door is open indeed, and Calum’s waiting for him there, a box of crackers in his hand. “Hey there,” he grins. Luke smiles easily. Calum closes the door behind him, once he’s inside. His flat isn’t as small as Luke thought it would be; there’s a pretty kitchen and the living-room looks comfortable. It smells like Calum, too. Luke likes this place. “Jack’s on the phone with your mom,” the young man says amusedly. He strolls around nonchalantly. Luke gazes at him. Calum seems to be wearing clothes meant especially for relaxing, loose and soft. “Ah.”

                Jack walks into the living-room with his phone in his hand, looking a bit annoyed. “She should know we can look after ourselves, we’re adults, dammit,” he mumbles. Luke’s happy to be included in the ‘adults’ group. “Not you though, little shit,” Jack adds. _Thought too fast_.

                Calum orders pizza from a restaurant in town and before it’s delivered, they start playing video games. The three of them are sprawled on the floor of Calum’s bedroom, joysticks in hand and eyes stuck on the TV screen. For the first time in a long time, Luke is winning and nothing could bring him a more satisfying feeling. When it ends, Jack tackles him to the floor and pretends to choke him while Calum watches, amused. Someone rings the doorbell. Food calling is stronger than anything else in the world and they rush to the front door. Calum insists on paying for the three of them.

                The rest of the night goes smoothly. Late after midnight, they prepare the two spare beds Calum and Jack will sleep on – Luke will take the young man’s bed. They get ready to go to sleep and curl up under the sheets only for a moment before a pillow fight starts in the dark. More than once, Calum takes hold of Luke’s shoulders, upper arms, wrists, pulls him forward to slam a cushion into his face and Luke laughs, laughs, laughs. When he falls asleep at last, he’s exhausted but happy.

                Morning comes like a golden wave. Sunlight slips its way through the shutters into Calum’s bedroom, waking Luke up gently. He opens his eyes but doesn’t move. He breathes in Calum’s scent. He likes how he can _feel_ him in it. It’s like… It’s like… Luke’s alone in the bedroom, and everything is silent. He checks the time on the alarm clock in the corner of his friend’s desk: it’s ten a.m. Luke decides to get out of bed. He throws the sheets away, stands up, and tiptoes out of the room. As he walks to the kitchen, he starts hearing low noises. Water running, plates clinking. When he arrives, he sees Calum doing the dishes. Once again, he watches him.

                Calum is just there, thin shirt, sweatpants, tanned skin. Luke gets closer. “Hey,” he says. His voice is rough and he wants to take it back to say better greetings, but the young man turns around and he smiles at him.

                “Hey,” he replies. “Did you sleep well?”

                “Yeah, I did, thanks. Your bed’s awesome,” Luke chuckles, yawning.

                “Jack left a couple minutes ago, he went to his appointment,” Calum tells him as he continues washing the dishes from last night’s dinner. Luke looks at his hands under the water absently. “What do you want for breakfast?”

                “Whatever there is, anything would be okay,” Luke answers. Calum dries his hands with a towel and he opens the fridge to get yoghurt and milk. There’s already some coffee made and he puts it in the microwave to warm it up. Luke sits at the table and pours two glasses of milk. Calum joins him shortly after. Everything is quiet. Luke eats his yoghurt and drinks his coffee, enjoying how sour and bitter clash harmoniously. Calum is looking at him with a strange expression on his face.

                “You’ve really changed since I left,” he says eventually.

                Luke laughs low. “In a good way or a bad way?”

                “A good way,” Calum replies. He smiles. Luke smiles. Luke puts his spoon down on the table. They remain silent for several minutes, but inside his head, thoughts are dancing, among questions and desires. He wonders whether he should do what they both seem to be thinking about. Now he knows, he knows what’s been flowering inside his stomach. They get up at the same time and just as Luke steps forwards, Calum comes to him and makes a move to grab his wrist. Luke bumps into him softly. Calum doesn’t move. Until the moment ends. “Let’s go to my room.”

                Their steps are quiet but nervous on the floor as they stumble to Calum’s bedroom. Luke cannot look up at Calum. But in the middle of the corridor, he feels the young man’s hand on his cheek and lips on his lips. He’s not even surprised. Luke closes his eyes and lets himself be pressed against the wall. _Calum. Calum._ Short groans slip out of his mouth. Calum pulls him off the wall and they keep making their way to his bedroom. At the same time, Calum is undressing Luke and Luke’s clothes fall to the floor, leaving traces of the path they’ve taken.

                Luke is no expert about being intimate with another person. He doesn’t have any idea where this is leading him. Desire is hard to comprehend using reason and concrete words. It’s almost as if his body were taking control of him, more and more at every second. His hands are stroking Calum’s belly, thumbs grazing at hipbones. His back meets the mattress, he didn’t make the bed, it’s perfectly ready, he’s ready, he’s ready, he’s ready. A second kiss. It’s all rushed, he’s eager and clumsy. Luke is dying to get a taste of Calum. He’s not a kid anymore.

                Calum fiddles in a drawer and takes a condom. He’s stripping, sweatpants and underwear off. Luke stops moving. He watches him. _I did that to him_ , he thinks when he sees Calum’s erection. This is taking him to a whole new place. He feels special, he feels like if he’s capable of making Calum want him, he really is a grown up. He can be a sexual being. Luke reaches out for Calum and pulls him down for another kiss. He’s shaking. Calum fondles him, every inch of his body. When he reaches the meeting of Luke’s thighs, he stops and hovers mere inches above Luke’s face, lips almost touching. “Relax,” he says. His voice cracks. Luke nods.

                This is extremely uncomfortable. Luke feels Calum’s finger in him and that’s when he realizes that he’s about to lose his virginity to his brother’s twenty-two-year-old best friend. And that he doesn’t care at all. Luke shuts his eyes. He focuses on the sensation of Calum’s finger in him, opening him up and searching for something. It hurts, faintly. But this is more strange than it is painful. A second finger makes it worse. Luke wonders whether Calum has had sex before and he thinks it’s stupid to be asking that question because he must have, it can’t be any other way. Maybe not with a boy, though. _I don_ _’_ _t care. I don_ _’_ _t care_ , Luke hears in his head. He kisses Calum slow.

                It starts to feel good after a while, even if nothing seems to have changed. Luke just has two of Calum’s fingers inside him, for a long time. The young man moves his hand up and down, curls his fingers, tries everything that might make him feel good. Luke is confused. He definitely feels pleasure, but without knowing whether it is from Calum’s touch or only the idea of doing something forbidden. Probably both. Calum moves his fingers faster in him. Luke lets out a whimper. “Luke,” Calum begins.

                “Yeah,” Luke breathes. Calum takes his fingers back and kisses his lips before he enters him. So this is what it feels like. Luke tenses up and he needs a few minutes to relax again like Calum told him to. It’s not obvious. With a faltering hand, he squeezes the young man’s upper arm to tell him to move. The two sides of him are fighting. He’s fucking scared and he feels guilty and dirty and small but he wants Calum to be rough and he wants to be kissed and held and hit and touched everywhere, everywhere.

                Calum is swearing. Luke begs him to do it harder. He wants his brother to stop flashing in his head every other second. Even though he doesn’t say it, he knows Calum understands. It’s good. Luke feels no less weird than before and it hurts more but every time Calum thrusts into him, he feels a wave of electricity washing over his body. He wants so much more. Most probably to prove to Calum but also to himself that his teenage years are behind him now. Calum bites his lip in pleasure and the moans he lets out are the most arousing sounds Luke has ever heard.

                Luke breaks the kiss they’re sharing and he flips Calum over, getting on top of him. He begins to roll his hips again and again, hands pressing Calum’s shoulders against the mattress. Calum looks dazed and fascinated. Nothing could be more gratifying. When Luke’s feeling too good to move, they go back to their first position and Calum moves into him again, faster than before. “Fuck, Luke,” Calum lets out. Luke moans unintelligible words. His arms are wrapped around Calum’s neck, tight.

                Calum releases after a little while, and it actually surprises Luke. For the second time, he thinks that it was him who did this to Calum. He’s got something on him. Luke feels capable. He sees Calum pull out of him and toss the condom away then bend down and all of a sudden his warm lips are wrapped around Luke and Luke can’t hold it in for much longer. He doesn’t come in Calum’s mouth but pretty close. Luke needs several minutes to come back down and have rational thoughts crossing his mind again. He’s sweaty and sticky and wet and dirty. Calum lies next to him and they breathe in harsh.

                Neither of them says anything about what they just did. Luke dozes off. Their bare legs are tangled together and he curls up against the young man’s toned chest. Hours lapse and it’s lunch time. Calum puts his sweatpants back on and cooks pasta in less than five minutes. Luke eats in bed even if he’s not that hungry. Then he gets up too and they watch a movie in the living-room. It’s amazingly boring. Luke thinks about Calum’s arm around his shoulders and Calum’s hand between his thighs. Twice, they stumble to his bedroom again and crash on the mattress, messy and flushed.

                Luke cannot stay at Calum’s place forever, not alone. Around three in the afternoon, he gathers all his things and gets ready to leave. They haven’t talked much, and never about what happened. Luke decides they’ll sort it out later. Before he steps out of Calum’s apartment, they share a short kiss. “See you,” Calum says.

                “See you,” Luke replies. He looks at him one last time and walks away.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

                Sunday afternoon. Luke comes back home from a friend’s place where he was doing his homework. His mother’s in the kitchen, baking a cake. “Jack’s with Calum in the attic,” she says with a warm smile. Luke’s heart skips a beat. She doesn’t know, of course. He hasn’t seen Calum or even texted him since the previous day and he’s afraid but eager to see him. He nods and takes off his shoes, heading upstairs. When he came home yesterday, his brother asked him why he’d stayed at Calum’s for so long. Luke had to invent a story about him having to visit someone else during the afternoon, which was far from being believable, but Jack bought it.

                Luke quietly pushes the door open and peeks through the crack. Videogame soundtrack drifts into his ears, exciting tunes and unnatural sound effects. He takes a step into the attic, his socks all but silent on the carpet. He’s greeted by the sight of Jack playing with his best friend, sitting side by side right in front of the TV screen. Unnoticed, he takes advantage of the moment to gaze at Calum. Luke can see the young man’s back, broad and toned underneath his shirt, and his smooth, dark hair. Calum’s golden skin looks softer than ever. Luke blinks his thoughts away and walks to his brother and to him. “Hey,” he says softly.

                “Hey”, his brother replies mechanically. Only Calum turns around. He doesn’t say a thing, but just a look means more than a thousand words. Luke smiles. He sits next to Calum, their knees brushing. Calum is wearing a sweater, it’s pooling on his lap and around his wrists. Luke shivers. And he closes his eyes, reminiscing.

                He remembers the previous day, the three of them sleeping at Calum’s place for the night, ordering pizza. Then his brother leaving earlier in the morning, him lingering for a couple hours… Calum and he chatting over a glass of milk. Sweatpants, yoghurt, whispers, let’s go to my room. Steps, take off your clothes, stumbling, stumbling, stumbling, down.

                Luke doesn’t know where this attraction comes from. All he knows is that his brother’s best friend’s touch felt just right. Childhood and teenage memories are blurred, difficult to grasp logically. Luke’s are no different. When Calum pinned him against the wall, lips on lips, warm breath, quiet, effortless moans, Luke’s heart fluttered with anticipation and thrills from the thought of crossing yet another invisible line between friendship and affection.

                Romance is one strange thing, Luke thinks as he feels Calum shift to sit closer to him. Shoulders meet, arms, elbows. Calum gives a remote to Luke and lets his fingers stroke the boy’s hand briefly. Luke craves him. The previous afternoon, clothes scattered on the floor, sweat pearling on foreheads – Luke let himself go and even Calum was surprised by how little his young age showed when they made love.

                Getting ready to play, Luke can’t help but glance at him. “Hey, move,” his brother interrupts.

                “Yeah,” Luke says. “Yeah.”

                Luke waits, for any moment, any chance he might seize to talk to Calum for a bit. Even afterwards, the day before, they didn’t. It was surprisingly quiet. Next to no words were exchanged; knowing what they both wanted was enough. Even the very first kiss was calm. Perhaps it was all about unconscious expectations, perhaps Luke was just ready for this – or perhaps he had been for a long long time. He doesn’t know. Calum’s hands were firm yet gentle. He handled Luke’s unsteady and clumsily eager actions well. Having him was somehow even better than Luke had thought.  
He’s starting to give up all his hopes when suddenly, his brother gets up. “Toilets. I’ll be right back.” Luke’s heart jumps. Jack walks out of the attic, climbing down the stairs. Luke waits before turning to Calum. A small smile forms on his lips.

                “Hi,” Calum says quietly.

                “Hi,” Luke says. Seconds fly by then Calum takes hold of his hand, squeezing just a little. They look away.

                “How’re you?” Calum asks.

                “Fine,” Luke chuckles. “How are you?”

                “Fine.”

                This time, Luke didn’t expect it and when Calum leans in to kiss his lips chastely, he starts. It lasts a split second – then his brother is walking in, back again. Jack notices nothing, fortunately, even though Luke feels his cheeks burning up from the kiss. He hides his nervousness by pushing random buttons on the remote. He wishes he could rest his head on Calum's lap, have his hair stroked and his hands held, be embraced and hugged. He wishes his brother weren't here. But for the hundredth time, it comes back to him that Calum is Jack's best friend, not his. He could never change that. Which is why he has to cope.

                The afternoon slips away gently and Calum must leave at half past six. They turn off the TV, and walk downstairs. Luke goes after Calum, watching him climb down every step. He wants to reach for him, jump onto his back and wrap his legs around him, but Jack follows right behind and Luke's childish desires are pushed even further away. In the hall, they say goodbye to Calum and Jack talks to him alone while Luke gets a glass of milk in the kitchen. He comes back as Calum is opening the door. Hurriedly, Luke gulps down the content of his glass, almost choking on it, and puts it away. "Lemme take out the trash," he grins at his brother. Anything to go outside.

                "It's already out, Luke," Jack replies tiredly.

                "Oh," Luke says. "Well, I'll go and buy some bread," he grimaces. "Hang on." He grabs his wallet, puts on his shoes and finally joins Calum on the doorstep. "I'll be right back." Good thing his brother’s got his head in the clouds because on a Sunday afternoon, there is absolutely no chance he might find a bakery open.

                Luke and Calum walk through the garden together. It's been raining, the grass is wet and slick with tiny drops of water. Their feet make no sound on the ground. They wait until they're out to talk. "You're not buying bread, are you?" Calum asks. Luke shrugs. Calum keeps walking until they reach the corner of the street. "Look," he begins softly, "this can't work. We – we can't work. What we did yesterday...we were just messing around, it was a one-time thing." Calum keeps rubbing the back of his neck with his hand and he looks so handsome and Luke's heart shatters on the pavement. _You kissed me again today_ , he wants to say. All he lets out is a smothered sigh. "You're great, Luke, and I like you, really. But you're still Jack's brother and I can't do that to him," Calum says, reaching for Luke's jaw, cupping it. Luke fights with himself not to look up. He fails and meets Calum's eyes and hates how it hurts. "You're eighteen, I'm almost twenty-three. That sucks. But we can't do it again, okay?"

                "Okay," Luke breathes out. All he was dying to hear seems to never be to come. But it was quite ridiculous, to tell the truth. Suddenly the memory of Calum's lips on him takes on a bitter taste. So Calum doesn't want him. Luke thinks _fuck it, really_ and he wraps his arms around the young man's neck, kissing him once more.

                He expected him to pull away. Calum freezes but thaws just as quickly. It feels like he's trying hard not to get into it but in the end, he gives in and kisses Luke back – then his fingers are stroking Luke’s golden hair, they’re pressed together and it goes on. Yet in the touch of his lips, his hands and his chest, Luke notices something that feels terribly close to restraint. The kiss is much longer than the one in the attic. When they part, they're breathless, unsteady, flushed. Calum looks lost.

                "Luke," is all he stammers.

                Luke walks away and he shivers. It's colder than he thought outside.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...uh, yeah  
> i'd be really really happy if you told me what you think about the story!! thanks a lot for reading <3


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so first of all thank you for all the sweet comments i was like sobbing ily <3  
> enjoy!!

 

 

                Luke has to admit, no matter how unpleasant it is, that Calum is right. He doesn't even want to imagine what his brother's reaction to their relationship would be: would he blame Calum for betraying his trust or Luke for luring his best friend into bed? Luke feels dirty. He already misses Calum but whether it is only in a physical way or not is hard to define. Sure, he wants Calum to keep stroking the inside of his wrists and to kiss his cheek like he did the other day. But he's also aware that teenagers tend to look for anyone before they look for someone. Luke wanted one thing to hold on to and now he's certain he has found one. But is it the right thing?

                Luke locks himself up in his room to jack off that night – but nobody needs to know.

                He takes his phone in the middle of the night and he decides to text Calum. They've had each other's numbers since the young man moved back in town, but they don't use them very often. Luke's fingers fiddle with the keyboard and he erases what he typed three times before sending his message to Calum. In the end, he settles for concision.

_From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                Calum.

                Surprisingly, he gets a reply almost at once.

_From: Calum  
                To: Luke_  
Yes?

_From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                Are you sleeping?

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                No. What's wrong, son?

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                Don't call me son.

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                What's wrong?

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                I'm mad at you.

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                Okay.

                Luke likes to wallow in self-pity and act like a victim. He feels like a kid. Calum hurt me. He hurt my feelings. He's perfectly aware of the fact that sleeping with him probably didn't mean as much to Calum as it meant to him. For a second, he realizes that a four year age gap matters more than he thought. He wants to keep the conversation going. But obviously, Calum isn’t very eloquent tonight. Then his late night state of mind takes over Luke and reason slips away. His next messages verge on eroticism and he loves it, he loves how thrilling it is.

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                As if you didn’t enjoy it.

                This time, Calum’s reply doesn’t come as fast.

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                I did.

                A smile forms on Luke’s lips and he curls up in his bed, heart fluttering.

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                How was I?

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                Great.

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                You’ve got something better to say.

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                You were hot, Luke.

                Somehow, it feels like Luke is ripping words off Calum’s lips.

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                Would you do it again?

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                We can’t, I told you.

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                But you like me, don’t you?

                Calum doesn’t reply. Luke puts his phone away for a moment, crossed. He takes it as a personal offence – if Calum did want him, wouldn’t he accept to forget the rules and start a relationship? Luke gets up and fetches a glass of water. Everything is silent in the house; his parents and Jack have long since fallen asleep. Luke feels hot. When he comes back to his bedroom, the screen of his phone is on, milky light hitting the walls. Luke sees a new text message alert. It’s from Calum. Once again, he feels desired. He opens the texts with a smile on his lips.

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                Yes, I like you.

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                Luke.

                Luke quickly types a reply and he waits.

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                Do you want me?

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                I’m not sure it's is a good idea to do this.

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                Do what?

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                You know what I mean, Luke.

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                I don’t.

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                Are you in bed?

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                Yes.

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                You need to stop doing this, Luke.

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                Why?

                Calum’s reply appears on Luke’s phone several minutes later. Luke’s mouth falls open. And blood rushes away from his head.

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                Because it’s two a.m.

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                And I fucking want to touch you.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

                Luke has never really thought of himself as an attractive, desirable person, let alone sexually. He’s just the average eighteen year-old guy, lanky, with bad skin, who doesn’t quite know what to do with his hands when he walks. But then there's Calum. That’s exactly what he likes about him. Calum makes him feel like he’s worth something. He makes him jump four years forwards every time they talk. The next morning, Luke wakes up tired but with his head full to bursting of dirty thoughts. After he got Calum's reply last night, their conversation drifted onto different matters. Luke doesn't even hear his mother speaking to him.

                Several days pass without him seeing Calum. Both he and Jack are quite busy with their studies at the moment. Meanwhile, Luke creates complicated and unrealistic plans he might follow to be able to have a relationship with Calum. But times goes by and nothing really changes. Until -

                Luke's there, in Calum's apartment, in the very same spot as the morning after his brother and he slept there. He looks around and sees he's sitting on the sofa. Calum is warm and big against him. They're so close that Luke could count his eyelashes if he wanted to. He pays absolutely no attention to the movie playing on TV and instead, he quietly grabs a hold of Calum's hand, drawing it between his thighs. Calum doesn't turn towards him or even blink but he has no need to - effortlessly, he presses his palm to Luke, and Luke lets out a sigh.

                It doesn't take long. The sofa isn't large enough for the two of them to lie with each other. Little by little, Luke's breathing grows irregular and hitched. When a groan leaves his lips, Calum leans in for a kiss then they're getting to their feet, tripping, hitting the walls on their way back to the bedroom. Without knowing how, numb and blurred, Luke ends up on all fours on the mattress which is already sticky from sweat. Calum is right behind. Pants off, and Luke cries out.

                He awakens with a start, eyes shooting open, to complete darkness. Thursday morning, seven past two a.m. Luke exhales deeply and raises his hands to his face in attempt to wash away the agitation within him. Yet again, Calum is haunting him, even in his sleep. Luke feels his cheeks burn up as images from his dream, so similar to that one afternoon, flash in his mind. Underneath the bed sheets, his hand finds its way down his chest and into his sweatpants. "Shit," Luke curses low. He closes his eyes.

                It all finally comes together about two weeks later, when Calum contacts him on the phone. Luke is in his bedroom when he gets the call, and, paranoid impulses creeping up in him, he closes and even locks the door before picking up. Calum's voice is both painful and delicious to hear. "Luke," the young man begins, and a thrill runs down Luke's spine. “How are you?"

                "I'm fine," Luke says, trying to control the shake in his words. "How are you?"

                Calum doesn't answer Luke's question. "I can't stop thinking of you,” he says instead, straight-forward. Luke begins to notice how tired, desperate he sounds.

                "Really?" Luke says.

                "Really," Calum breathes. "I - I think I'm in love with you, Luke."

                Luke was still in the process of beginning to feel that exciting sensation in the pit of his stomach from knowing Calum wanted him, but this, this takes his breath away. He sits there with his phone in his hand, hearing Calum say those words over and over again, on replay in his mind. It takes him a good minute to get back in control. "I want to see you," he blurts.

                "I can't right now," Calum says, and Luke hears his frustration.

                "Tomorrow."

                "Okay," Calum says low. "Come at my place in the afternoon, we'll have coffee."

                Luke would be lying if he said he didn't think about what might happen before coming over to Calum's. Now he's sitting on Calum's lap, lips locked, they're tangled together and Calum smells like leather. It's so hot in there. The young man's hand rucks his sweater up, gets lost between the wool and Luke's ribs, fingers grazing at sensitive skin. Luke doesn't remember even saying hello before Calum pulled him into that kiss, and it still hasn't stopped. It doesn't - not until a draught makes the door of the bathroom slam as loud as a thunder sound and both of them jump. It's a silly reason, but Luke feels how it frightened them, even though it was nothing dangerous.

                Calum swallows and he picks Luke up off his lap, putting him down on a second chair facing him. "We need to talk," he sighs. For the first time since he arrived - and hence for the first time in days, Luke takes time to look at him truly. Calum does look exhausted. "Does your family know you..." he begins.

                Luke crosses his arms. "That I what?" he asks.

                "Please don't make this difficult," Calum says low.

                "Oh,” Luke replies. “That I swing the other way? Play for the other team? That I kinda like the feeling of a dick up my ass?" he snaps, sarcastic.

                "You're being silly," Calum says quietly, with a little smile. For some reason, it suddenly makes Luke feel ashamed of his aggressive behaviour and brings a blush to his cheeks. "Does your family know you like guys? I assume you like guys," Calum carries on. Luke shakes his head silently, looking down. He wants to say he's never felt like his parents and his brother were in need of that particular information, but nothing comes out. "Well, I guess that's a second announcement to make," Calum says.

                "Do you think Jack will freak out?" Luke cannot help asking.

                "Depends whether you tell him I've been screwing you so hard lately," Calum grimaces. Luke shakes his head. He can't do that. He was supposed to be a grown-up. Now reality is rushing back to him like a blow in the face and all he wishes is to find a way to escape from his responsibilities. Telling Jack that he's slept with his best friend of five years doesn't sound easy. Calum rubs his forehead with his palm repeatedly. "I feel like a creep."

                Silence falls for a second. "Do you even like me?" Luke hears himself whisper.

                Calum reaches out for his hand. "Of course I do," he replies. "Come on." And as Luke cracks a smile, he pulls him back up on his lap.

                Luke comes home with a sore back and a clouded mind. His wet shoes leave stains on the floor after he forgets to take them off. Looking concerned, his mother walks into the hall. “Where were you?” she asks him; a thin frown creases her forehead. “Luke. Where were you? I’ve been trying to call for more than an hour.” Luke turns to here, eyes wide open. Thinking harder and faster than he’s ever thought before, he goes over every single excuse he might use and finally chooses a very average one.

                “At Michael’s…place. He needed help with his homework,” he says mechanically.

                “Oh, really?” his mother replies. “I called Michael twenty minutes ago, he had no idea where you were.”

                Luke curses himself for having only one friend at school. “O…kay, I wasn’t at Michael’s,” he carries on laboriously. “I was at Calum’s,” he winces.

                “And what were you doing at Calum’s?” Mrs. Hemmings asks.

                _What were you doing, Luke?_

_Playing video games._

_No. Lame. Not without Jack._

_Just hanging out._

_He_ _’_ _s not your best friend._

_But Jack_ _–_

_Jack didn_ _’_ _t know where you were either._

_We were planning a birthday party for him._

_No, think harder Luke, you brother is born in the middle of May._

_Just getting back an album I had left there_ _…_

_Three hours is too long for this. Luke. What were you doing? Think._

                “I-I-I don’t know,” Luke blurts.

                “Oh, you don’t know,” his mother nods. “Fine. You’re lucky we know Calum. But I’m calling him at once to check he’s seen you,” she announces.

                Something clicks inside Luke’s head and he interrupts her, “Why are you always breathing down my neck like that?”

                “You may be eighteen, Luke, but you’re still my son and when you go outside for more than three hours without saying where and without answering my calls, I get worried. Period.”

                “You can call Calum, he’ll tell you what  you wanna hear,” Luke spits as he walks away towards his bedroom. He slams the door and collapses on his bed – both actions immediately making him feel terribly aware of how childish his behaviour is. For the first time since he left to go to Calum’s, Luke checks his phone and he sees eight missed calls from his mother. And a text from Calum.

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                Liz just called me to ask if you had visited me.

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                And what did you tell her?

                _From: Calum_  
                To: Luke  
                That you’d come to get your headphones back and we’d watched a TV show afterwards.

                _From: Luke_  
                To: Calum  
                Thanks, Calum.

                Luke feels grateful Calum’s thinking capacity words better than his own, but he also knows very well that if the _reason_ why he was at Calum’s is supposed to be so simple, failing and refusing to tell his mother about it straight away says a lot more about him that the story in itself.

                “Yo, little shit, why were you at Calum’s today?” Luke looks up from his book with a start. His brother’s head is popping out of the crack of the open door. A cheerful smile is crossing his lips and Luke feels a little bit sick. He shrugs and doesn’t reply. Unfortunately, this doesn’t satisfy Jack and instead of leaving Luke alone, he walks into the bedroom. Luke catches a glimpse of a bag of Oreos in his right hand. “Mom’s still pretty mad about it,” Jack says as he sits down on the chair at Luke’s desk. Luke looks away. Even more than usual, he feels very, very much aware of the fact he’s betraying his brother. It’s all blurring into a confusing mess: is it worse to have been sleeping with Calum or to have said nothing about it?

                “I needed to get my headphones back,” Luke says in the end, happening to recall the story Calum made up. But when he hears the silence that follows, he glances at Jack. “What?”

                “Em,” Jack says. “Luke, your headphones were in the attic, I used them today.” He seems to be somewhat puzzled.

                “Yeah, I thought they were at Calum’s and it turned out they weren’t,” Luke says, and he catches himself screwing up. “That’s right.”

                “You weren’t at Calum’s, were you?” Jack asks.

                Luke’s guilt begins to swell up and up because on his brother’s face, there is real concern. His cheeks are on fire. “Yeah, I was,” he says.

                “But what’s wrong, then? Is Calum okay?” Jack frowns. “Are you okay?”

                “I am, you asshole,” Luke retorts with a nervous chuckle.

                “Luke, I know that sucks but you’re kinda weird these days,” his brother says carefully.

                “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

                Jack sighs and he shrugs. “Okay then. Your problem, after all. That’s not what I wanted to tell you – remember Mali-koa, Cal’s sister?”

                “Uh, yeah, sure,” Luke says. Even though he’s never seen her that much because she didn’t live with the rest of her family like her brother, Calum’s older sister has left some traces of memories in his head. “Why?”

                “I saw her the other day, she takes singing classes with my friend Charlotte. I may or may not have gotten a date,” Jack says with a sly grin. “She’s become so hot, you’d be freaking jealous, little shit,” he grins. “I wanted to borrow your grey sweater.”

                “Take it,” Luke says. This is actually such a hilariously horrible situation that he doesn’t even find the strength to pretend not to be okay with lending Jack his clothes. “Take it and go away.” Jack’s laugh echoes in the corridor as he leaves after grabbing Luke’s sweater in his closet. Luke presses the palm of his hand over his eyes and tries to forget about everything that drives him crazy.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

                Luke had expected his brother to come back happy from his date with Calum’s older sister, and the two of them to see each other only a few times more afterwards, but it turns out that something of a real attraction brings them together, because after a month, Jack comes back home and announces that “This time, it’s serious.”. Luke’s heart does a strange little thing inside his chest, and he almost believes he’s going to throw up in the middle of dinner. He keeps eating his salad reluctantly, wishing he could be anywhere but there.

                Calum and he see each other quite regularly, about once a week. Luke wants to say they spend their time whispering tender words to each other in the dark, watching romantic movies and tracing hearts in their palms, but mostly, their days together are about fucking right and fucking good, and occasionally listening to rock music. As long as Calum likes him, Luke is fine with this type of romance, no matter how grey it is.

                “We could invite the Hoods to dinner, it’s been months and months since we did,” Mrs. Hemmings suggests. Jack begins to nod frantically and Luke’s father seems to agree. It already sounds like an amazing perspective. Luke wonders what’s funnier – him sleeping with Calum or Jack dating Calum’s very own sister. Or maybe rather the fact that neither Jack, Mali-koa or the rest of their families know it. Kudos to you, Luke Hemmings.

                Tragically for Luke, Calum and Mali’s parents are delighted to hear about the Hemmings again and confess they had actually been planning to do a similar thing. A date is chosen and Luke can already see him being observed by six people with Calum next to him throwing him awkward glances. It arrives much too quickly for him. On a cold Saturday night in January, Mr. and Mrs. Hood, Mali-koa and Calum walk into Luke’s house, and then there’s the greetings, the ‘We missed you’s, the ‘You’ve changed so much, Mali dear’s, ‘Look at what a handsome young man Luke has become’s, ‘Jack and Mali-koa do make a lovely pair, don’t they?’s and more and more.

                Luke only needs to meet Calum’s eyes to know something is going to go wrong.

                He thought it would happen eventually, but not as soon as it does. The beginning of the dinner actually goes quite well, because most of the conversation deals with Jack and Mali’s studies. However, as time goes by, it drifts onto different fields, and of course there _had_ to be a moment when dating would be talked about. Sadly, Luke knows very well that Mr. and Mrs. Hood, however kind and sweet they are, fall in that category of people who treat their children’s friends – or children’s friends’ brothers – like their own children, and it doesn’t fail to make them ask more about Luke’s private life.

                “Don’t tell me you don’t have a girlfriend,” Mrs. Hood says with a loving smile. “Look at how great you look. I’m sure they all love you.”

                “I really do not have a girlfriend, though,” Luke has to say through clenched teeth, faking a laugh. He doesn’t even want to look at Calum.

                Mali-koa titters. She has a beautiful face with skin golden like her brother’s, and her hair covers her shoulders in a brown waterfall. “Actually, we all know who you should date here,” she says.

                “Yeah, right,” Jack says. “We’ve got to share, isn’t that true? Now that Mali and I are a thing, you should totally date Calum!”

                Luke chokes on his potatoes the very second his brother starts laughing. Calum’s parents and his own father share quiet chuckles while his mother scolds him. Mali-koa’s hiding her face behind her hands, shaking with giggles. Jack is grinning at Calum. And Calum is grimacing. Luke has to get up and run away from the table before he pukes all over himself and he hurries to the toilets to spit out the rest of his food. He feels ashamed of reacting so violently to a harmless joke. When he comes back, Calum’s eyes are downcast and no matter how long Luke gazes at him, the young man won’t look up.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

                Luke falls in love in February. Being naturally forgetful, he doesn't think of the special date in the middle of that month - and even if he had, he probably wouldn't have done anything in the occasion. It happens to be on a Friday. When Luke gets a call from Calum, he doesn't expect anything special. As usual when they have a call, he makes sure the door of his room is closed before picking up. "Hello," he breathes afterwards.

                "Hey," Calum says. "How're you?" Luke replies with a little grunt. He hears Calum chuckle at the other end of the line. "I was wondering if you'd like to swing by my place tonight."

                "Oh. Yeah, sure," Luke answers. "What do I tell them?"

                After weeks of experience, they have come to the conclusion that Calum always finds a way to make up excellent stories, which is why he's almost always the one providing the excuses. Usually, it works quite well and Luke's parents seldom ask questions. However, tonight, Calum doesn't invent anything complicated. "Just tell them you're sleeping here." He laughs nervously. "I have nothing better to suggest. Sorry."

                "It's fine," Luke says, fiddling with a pencil from his case. "I'll do that. We're bros, right?"

                "Right," Calum answers. "See you."

                Luke's trip to the living-room doesn't take long but he ends up having more difficulties than planned to explain why he chose to sleep at Calum's tonight. Fortunately, Jack is away for the weekend and can't ask him further questions about why on Earth he's seeing his best friend by himself, but Mrs. Hemmings still finds it strange. In the end, Luke gets away with it with evasive replies and jokes to make it all look pretty. As soon as his mother turns around back to her novel, he runs to his bedroom to pack his things. Whenever he spends the night with Calum, he makes sure to take spare underwear in case of an emergency.

                Calum greets him with open arms and gentle joy to see him. They share a short hug before he steps back and as usual when he's nervous, rubs the back of his neck as he speaks. "So, I didn't really prepare anything special, but I thought that for the occasion we might watch a movie or something," he explains.

                "What occasion?" Luke asks.

                "Well, you know," Calum says. "It's. You know."

                "Oh," Luke whispers. "Yeah."

                Calum smiles. Luke feels a blush painting his cheeks red because he's suddenly realizing how handsome Calum looks tonight with his silly sweater and idiotic tight jeans and his ridiculous golden skin. Valentine's day is not the most important celebration in Luke's opinion since to him, one must love their significant other any day of the year, but Calum's intentions are sweet. "You up for it?" the young man asks.

                "As long as you have chocolate ice-cream," Luke replies, leaning in for a kiss.

                They fall asleep late at night after making love. Luke's sleep, for once, isn't disturbed by all sorts of dreams or agitated impulses. He's curled up right against Calum, his head buried in the crook of Calum's neck. It feels warm and soft. Calum's arm is lazily wrapped around his waist. Luke doesn't open his eyes till ten in the morning. And even then, it takes them more than half an hour to stop making out and get out of bed. Breakfast consists in coffee, yoghurt, muesli and what remains of the chocolate ice-cream. Luke feels great. If he shuts his eyes and forgets about his parents and brother, he can imagine he's grown-up, long since finished with school, just sharing a Saturday morning with his boyfriend. Luke thinks he's in love and he has to say that's quite a pleasant feeling.

                However, the day takes a whole different turn when Luke's phone buzzes and he reads a text from Jack.

_From: Jack_  
                To: Luke  
                Mom told me you were at Calum's. Can I join?

                Luke swallows. Congratulations to him for having the best party pooper of a brother. "It's Jack," he says. "He's coming."

                "Shit," Calum mumbles. "Get dressed." Luke nods quickly and he gulps down the end of his coffee before heading back to the bedroom because the two of them strutting out there in their underwear is maybe a little bit too much, even for bros. Calum is cleaning the kitchen when he comes back, then he's putting the Virgin Suicides DVD box back where it belongs. "Alright?" he asks Luke. Luke nods. They don't even have the time to do anything else; the sound of the doorbell rings bright and clear in the apartment. Luke freezes. They need an explanation, now. "I got this," Calum mouths as he unlocks the front door. "Hey, Jack, " he grins.

                Jack smiles as his friend before looking at Luke and frowning. "Am I allowed to know what you're doing here?"

                Luke's about to let out something completely stupid when fortunately, Calum is quick enough to save him. "Well, long story short, Luke went to a party last night and he knew he would probably get drunk, which is why he asked me if he could crash here so that Liz wouldn't see him," he says with such self-assurance Luke seriously wonders how someone might not want to believe him. He sees Jack frown but accept that story in the end.

                "Okay," he says. "Well, while I'm here, can I get coffee?" He smiles and Calum heads to the kitchen to prepare more. Luke feels amazingly relieved. He strolls around, while Jack and Calum chat, one in the kitchen, one in the living-room. It's a reassuring noise, two familiar and low voices he knows by heart. It even makes him all warm inside. Until suddenly, Jack stops talking right in the middle of a sentence. Luke turns around and sees him staring at something. "Calum," Jack says slowly, "is that a condom on the floor?"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...heh


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And more trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okayyy so thanks a bunch for all the comments last time! the cliffhanger sucked, i know  
> i hope you'll like this chapter :)

 

 

               _"Calum, is that a condom on the floor?"_

                Luke's blood runs cold the second his brother speaks out. Suddenly it all comes back to him; the movie, making out, having sex on the sofa and trailing to bed sleepily afterwards. Without making sure everything was properly cleaned. Jack is still staring at the dirty little thing, looking puzzled and incredulous. "Man, has somebody else been sleeping here?" he asks, glancing successively at Calum, then at Luke, then back at Calum again. He's surely thinking of a girl. "Has somebody else been sleeping here?"

                Luke meets Calum's eyes. He takes a deep breath in. "No, Jack, nobody else has been sleeping here." He remains silent afterwards while his brother processes what he just said. Calum leaves the kitchen and joins them. He's very quiet. Luke's hands are shaking a bit and he grabs the end of his sleeves to keep them steady.

                "But who..." Jack begins. "There isn't anyone else in here, right?" he frowns. Luke shakes his head and he looks to the floor. Something is telling him that Jack refuses to believe what's so blatantly obvious it has become frightening. "Then...who did you..." Jack trails off. Calum clears his throat and there's another moment of silence hanging up in the air, terribly thick and heavy. Then, when it ends, Jack breathes out. "Oh no."

                He's sitting down on the sofa, eyes wide open and empty, unmoving. "Is this a joke?" he murmurs. Neither Calum or Luke answer. Luke doesn't quite know what to do. He sees Calum rub the floor repeatedly with the tip of his foot, never looking up. And in that moment he swears that without any differences, both of them are back to being kids. Clumsy, foolish, irresponsible.

                All that's left of Luke's voice is a thin whisper. "Guess there's some explaining to do."

                Calum and he come closer to Jack and they sit down side by side on the armchair facing the sofa. Jack doesn't move an inch - his hands rest between his knees and he looks at a loss. Luke is still desperately trying to find a way to explain all of this in the most sensible and delicate way as possible, but no matter how many times he comes up with something to say, he realizes it couldn't be worse. "Look," Calum says.

                "Really?" Jack cuts. "I mean, really?" He makes a funny face – funny, in a way. "You two..."

                "You weren't supposed to find out this way," Calum says quietly.

                "How was I supposed to find out?" Jack replies curtly.

                "Well, we would have talked to you reasonably and...anyway, now you know." Luke manages a little smile. As always, he hopes that a bit of joy will make it up. It doesn't.

                "How long?" Jack asks after a moment.

                "Three months or so. Since the day Luke and you slept here while your parents were at a wedding."

                "You _fucked_ while I was there?" Jack exclaims with disgust at the edge of his voice.

                "The morning after," Calum says quickly.

                "Oh. Much better."

                "I'm sorry, Jack. Really. We're - we're both sorry," Luke says. "We wanted to tell you about it," he lies, "but..."

                "No, wait," Jack interrupts. For the first time since it all started, he really looks at Luke. The two of them have the same blue eyes, it's been in the family forever. Everyone says it's what makes them look like brothers, so similar and reassuring. Luke sees himself in Jack, sometimes. But right now, he doesn't. Anger and betrayal glow in Jack's bright blue irises, and hurt, too. "You," he points at Luke, "have been screwing my best friend for weeks. And you," he points at Calum, "you...you...my brother? You fucked my brother? Shit, he's eighteen, Calum, eighteen! How could you do that to me?" Jack's voice breaks in the middle of his sentence.

                "I'm sorry," Calum murmurs.

                "Do Mom and Dad know?" Jack asks.

                "Of course not," Luke replies nervously.

                His brother sniggers darkly. "Of course not."

                “Please, don’t –”

                “Oh, you think I’m gonna tell them?” Jack asks. He bursts out laughing. “Deal with your own shit, Luke, I don’t care! And you, Calum. We’re not finished talking.” Jack looks at them without a word for a long, long time. He’s stood up in the meantime, and he looks taller than ever. Luke feels like Calum and he are as small as two children. Heads down – maybe with a little bit of luck you’ll disappear.

                Jack leaves eventually without adding anything else, but the tense atmosphere does stay. A sticky feeling of shame clings to Calum and Luke – the latter for having been scolded by his own brother in front of his boyfriend and the former for failing at being the responsible adult he was supposed to be in this relationship. Confusedly, Luke knows he blames it on Calum. He’s not mad, far from that. But for some reason, even though he was probably not even aware of it in the beginning, choosing to be in a relationship with Calum made him believe that since he was the young one, he was relieved of all responsibilities concerning anything that might happen. But unfortunately, the consequences apply to the two of them.

                “Well, shit,” Luke says low. Calum doesn’t reply. Still sitting next to him, Luke looks in his direction and he sees him with his face hidden behind his hands. “Hey. What’s wrong?” he whispers, resting his hand on the young man’s back. He can feel Calum’s slow breathing underneath. Up and down, up and down it rises and falls. Calum shakes his head. That’s when Luke realizes that’s a bit too much compared to what just happened. “Calum?”

                “He’s right, really,” Calum says in the end, finally looking up. “He’s right. Let me let you the whole story,” he goes on, the sarcastic tones in his voice getting louder and louder at every second. “I move to another city for three years. I haven’t seen my best friend in all that time. I come back and when I see his brother again – his _little_ brother, eighteen-year-old brother, I think _shit, he_ _’_ _s become so hot, what the fuck am I doing._ He used to be so small and now he’s so damn attractive, I can’t breathe. And did I mention that little brother is only eighteen? Anyway, barely a month later, I fuck said little brother in the ass behind my best friend’s back, and we start a relationship. All of that without my friend knowing, of course. What a great person I am.”

                Luke closes his mouth and sucks up what he was about to say. From that angle, it doesn’t sound the same at all. The perspective of a childhood friendship which had slowly flowered into romantic feelings without them being aware of it sounded so much more beautiful. Reality is a little harsh. Calum has told him many times that he loved him but finding out it all started with pure physical attraction is disillusioning him. Luke sighs and he brings his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs. "You're not bad. You’re…you’re okay," he says. "And he won't be mad for long."

                Calum laughs bitterly. Luke understands it's time for him to leave.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

 

                They give it time. Even if he doesn't show it in front of their parents, Jack still gives Luke the cold shoulder during the following week and every time Luke tries to apologize once again, his brother pushes him away. Luke endures it without protestations - he's aware he deserves it and if Jack wants to be angry, let him be. What bothers Luke is that Calum almost never replies to his texts and calls now, and when he happens to, he's typing or speaking in a very cold way. This Luke doesn't quite understand: aren't they supposed to stick together? Calum's remorse may be hurting him but Luke tells him again and again that it's all alright - nevertheless, his mood doesn't get better.

                As a consequence, Luke spends a fortnight being constantly glared at and treated like shit by his brother and ignored by Calum, handed back tests he failed at school and asked every second where he is at the moment by his mother. He's back to being a kid once more, when what he loves the most is feeling mature and independent. Frustration builds up inside Luke and all he wants to do is shout how he's eighteen and how he has the right to do whatever he wants - which, coincidentally, includes being in a relationship with Calum. A shame nobody would listen.

                Luke's parents come back home from work quite late on Friday nights and most of the time, he's alone at home all the afternoon, his classes ending early. That day, he's sprawled on his bed, headphones blasting music full volume, when his phone rings. It's been so long he got a call from Calum that he's genuinely surprised to see the young man's name on the screen. He picks up, heart beating fast, almost expecting, imagining he's going to be told the two of them must break up. But what he hears is a whole different thing.

                "Calum?" he says timidly.

                "Hey," Calum's voice says. "How are you?"

                "I'm fine. Is something wrong?"

                "I wanted to apologize about the way I've been acting lately. I was just...our argument with Jack and what he said to me on the phone afterwards, it fucked me up. So, yeah, I'm sorry, Luke."

                "It's okay," Luke smiles. "Do you want to hang out somewhere?"

                "Well, actually..." Calum begins. "Are you at home?"

                "Yeah."

                "Alone?"

                "Yeah," Luke answers, fully aware of what Calum's question means. A warm feeling appears inside his chest. "You wanna come?"

                "You bet I do," Calum says eagerly. "I'll be there in ten.”

                Luke licks his lips as he hangs up. Jack won't be coming home till six p.m. and his parents will arrive about one hour later, which leaves them more than two hours to spend however they wish to. He cannot wait. Calum doesn't come here very often - at least, not to do what he and Luke do when they're alone. It will actually be the first time they can have private time in his room. Luke is still in the process of tidying it when he hears the doorbell. Calum was fast. Luke goes to the front door and opens it to let the young man in.

                Barely a second after he sees his face, a smile forms on Luke's lips. He happily wraps an arm around Calum's neck and presses a kiss on his cheek. "Hi," he says low. Calum replies with a little groan and he kisses him once again, on the lips this time.

                "What have you been doing?" he asks in the end after they part, cradling Luke left and right.

                "Not much. Was bored," Luke says casually. "Let's go upstairs." As he climbs the steps holding Calum's hand, he feels him following very close behind. The house is so quiet. On the doorstep of his bedroom, Calum rests his hands on the curve of Luke's waist. "What do you want to do?" Luke asks.

                "I missed you," is Calum's answer.

                "Me too," Luke whispers, turning around to cup his face and kiss him again. Very naturally, they end up stepping to his bed little by little before they collapse on it, Calum on top of Luke. Almost right afterwards, it's a messy lot of creased fabric, discarded socks, strokes and pressing murmurs. "Shit - take it off," Luke stammers. He seemed to have forgotten how bad he wants Calum. The young man struggles to grab a condom he stuffed in the pocket of his jeans and in a rush, he prepares Luke before entering him. Luke doesn't know what word could describe the best what he feels like, but whole sounds like a good choice.

                As Calum starts moving within him, he lets out a sigh. Underneath his back, he feels the bed sheets and they seem as hot as in the middle of summer. Calum's skin is sticky. He presses his lips to Luke's neck, sucking and nibbling, and Luke already knows that by the end of the afternoon there will be a red, flower-like mark left to remind him of Calum. He shuts his eyes, biting back moans when Calum touches him where it feels good.

                They're still in the middle of it when everything crumbles down. And yet, Luke was certain his mother finished work at half past six every Friday. He doesn't even get enough time to have a proper reaction to what happens. Before he knows it, it's, "I came back earlier, Luke, how was your day?", the door opening, a scream and hearts stopping to beat.

                Luke's natural reflex is to hold on tight to Calum as he shouts. “Mom – don't fucking – shit, go away!" The door slams shut just as quickly as it opened but the shock and the fear don't leave the room. Breathless, Luke doesn’t release his grip around Calum, fingertips digging into golden skin. His mother. She saw. “Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” he winces, words tumbling from his lips at a crazy fast pace. “What do I do? What do I do? Shit, shit, fuck,” Luke pants. “Calum?”

                “Oh my God,” Calum says painfully. “Let go of me, you’re gonna break all of my bones.”

                “Sorry,” Luke murmurs, taking his hands back and setting Calum free. The young man lies on his side so that they’re facing each other and he embraces him, but much more gently. “We’re screwed,” Luke says.

                “Yeah,” Calum replies. He presses his lips to Luke’s neck once again, giving him soft, quiet kisses. “Don’t think we can finish now,” he adds. Luke shakes his head. He breathes in and out slowly. He closes his eyes while Calum hugs him, desperately searching for what he will say to his mother when they see her. Calum was most probably doing the same because soon he says, “Maybe we should just explain everything since the beginning.”

                “Fair enough,” Luke mumbles. He sighs and pulls away from Calum, getting off the bed to pick his clothes up off the floor. “I’ll go to the bathroom first,” he says. Still lying on the mattress, Calum nods lazily. “Being right back,” Luke adds quickly before he walks out. He makes no sound in the corridor and closes the bathroom door as softly as possible. After making sure he is clean, he puts on all his clothes. Before he leaves the bathroom, he walks by the mirror and mechanically, glances at his own reflection. Fright is still written all over his face, wide eyes and pale skin. Luke inhales, exhales. You need to calm down.

                When he goes back to his bedroom, he finds Calum sitting on the bed. He’s still naked. He looks up as Luke comes in. “Bathroom’s free?” he asks. Luke nods without a word. While Calum’s away, he makes his bed unwillingly and pushes things in the corners of the room with his feet. He knows his mother is downstairs, waiting for Calum and he to come. It looks like he’s going to experience the biggest questions session of the decade. Good thing his father isn’t there or he would have locked himself up in his room and stayed there forever. But Calum is already back and they stand in front of each other awkwardly, hesitating. “I suppose we have to go downstairs,” Calum says in the end.

                “Yeah,” Luke grimaces. Together, they head to the living-room, and he almost finds it hard to walk, so afraid he is. He got caught. They got caught. Adults don’t get caught. Children do. Calum, we were supposed to be grown-ups. Luke’s mother is waiting for them in the dining-room, sitting at the table, arms crossed, calmly waiting for an explanation. Luke trails to a chair and plops down on it, imitated by Calum. “So,” he says. “Yeah.”

                “Yeah,” Mrs. Hemmings replies quietly. “That’s all you have to say? I believe you can be more eloquent that this, Luke.”

                Luke’s hands ball up into fists under the table. “What do you wanna know?” he says through clenched teeth.

                “Liz,” Calum interrupts, “I’m sorry. I meant no harm.”

                “This isn’t about being sorry,” Liz shakes her head. “You’re both old enough to know what you want to do and whoever you want to do it with. If you two want to have sex behind our backs, feel free to go at it. I just thought you trusted your father or me enough to tell us.” She glances at Calum then back at Luke. He looks away. Mrs. Hemmings sighs. “When did you two get so close?”

                “Three months ago,” Luke mumbles.

                “I hope you use protection.”

                Embarrassment paints Luke’s cheeks a vivid shade of red. “Yes,” he whispers.

                "Does your family know about this, Calum?"

                "No."

                “You must speak to them. And you must speak to Jack.”

                “He already knows,” Calum says. “We…had a conversation.”

                “Very well,” Liz nods. “And, Luke,” she adds. “your father will talk to you tonight.”

                Luke ends up alone in his bedroom till the evening. A sort of unspoken invitation for Calum to leave was given to the young man by Luke’s mother. Lying on his bed, Luke stares at the ceiling. He feels strange. He’s both horrified his mother found out he was sleeping with Calum and relieved they won’t have to hide anymore. It results in a mixed, nauseous feeling filling him up completely, ambiguous and uncomfortable. Luke hates it. He had completely forgotten he was supposed to talk to his father when said father knocks on his door. “Son,” Mr. Hemmings says as he opens the door, smiling at him. “Can I come in?”

                “Yeah,” Luke croaks.

                His father closes the door behind him. He pulls Luke’s chair towards the bed and sits on it, next to him. He doesn’t look angry at all, just willing to have a conversation. “So. Do you wanna talk about it?”

                Luke doesn’t like showing weakness in front of his father. But when he hears him, he dissolves into tears. He hears his dad sigh and move closer to him to pat his shoulder. Luke hides his face between his knees, begging for it to stop. His crying is the kind of physical reaction which has no precise cause – he just needs to let it all out.

                Maybe it’s guilt. Sudden realization that his parents might be disappointed to know they probably won’t get grandchildren from him, nor a graceful and gentle daughter-in-law. Or maybe a change of pressure – after keeping it all inside for so many weeks, once there is a crack, it needs to flow through. For a long, long time, as Luke is shaken by uncontrollable sobs, his father rubs his back slowly. And Luke knows. He knows he understands.

                “You know,” his father says, “Calum’s a great guy. I’m sure he will make you happy.”

                Luke only cries harder.

                Smiling softly, his father squeezes his shoulder. “Luke,” he says. “We love you.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not gonna lie, the scene with luke's father was one of my faves  
> this was the last chapter before the epilogue! <3


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrapping it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i'm updating so late!! and this is so short...really disappointing  
> hope you'll like it anyway <3  
> (also i'm so so sorry they're supposed to be living in australia but i wrote this like with the north hemisphere seasons like june and july are hot months and all of that summer blah blah blah i'm sorry ok you'll get it)

 

 

                Announcing that Calum and he are in a relationship to the young man's family turns out to be much easier than announcing it to Luke's. Calum's parents are pleasantly surprised and all his sister says is that she's glad Calum chose Luke and not _one of those sluts from his school_. "Yeah, meet Jack somewhere and go away," Calum retorts. But on his face, all Luke reads is relief.

                Several things flow from of all this story. Luke's permanent attempts at reaching out for adulthood having almost all ended up being failures bringing him back to the start, he has come to the conclusion it's no use wanting to grow up too fast. But the most important thing is how his parents' reaction to Calum and him – and especially his father's – showed him they cared about him and about his choices. Luke is glad that in spite of the awkward moments, it all ended in a good way. And Jack – well, Jack forgave him easily with time. Even if video game sessions are often disrupted by stolen kisses every now and then.

                Being as bad at school as he has been for years, Luke doesn't get to be offered many options concerning his studies. In the end, he chooses to enter an art school the upcoming year. Calum is still studying engineering. Dating has become much less of a stressful thing since it stopped being a secret and Luke and he now go to the movies or spend time at home cuddling more often. Time passes quietly.

                It does get better. The end of the year is drawing near and as days get warm and sunny, Luke begins to spend more and more time with Calum, sometimes lingering at his place until late at night on Sundays and coming home at the last moment. Calum becomes part of his family, too. Him being Luke’s boyfriend is a subtle but noticeable change; however, it makes no difference about Jack and his relationship.

                On one of the last weekends before school is over, Luke’s parents invite Calum and Mali-koa to dinner – nothing formal. Jack and she are still together, and planning to move into an apartment by September or October.

                Brother and sister arrive at the same time. Before they do, Luke strolls around the house lazily, socks and sweatpants, waiting, waiting. “Luke,” his mother calls him. “Why wouldn’t you help me cut the cucumber?” Luke groans but slides along the corridor as if he were wearing ice skates. When he enters the kitchen, Liz hands him a knife and a cucumber. “We’re making a salad.” Luke settles down in front of the working surface and gets the job done. The green thing is cold under his fingers.

                He has almost cut the whole of it when the doorbell rings. “Jack, open the door,” Mr. Hemmings says. Luke grumbles and he keeps cutting the cucumber while his brother does as he was told. He hears his father climbing down the stairs, Mali-koa’s reassuring voice, Jack saying hi. He waits. Right when he’s finished with his cutting, he puts the knife down and he reaches for a towel –

                “You look so comfy in these,” Calum purrs in his ears. Luke starts but relaxes almost instantly as two hands meet his hips. Calum nuzzles the back of his neck, warm, soft. Luke smiles in comfort. There’s something about the way Calum holds him…

                “Hey, Luke,” Mali grins when she walks into the kitchen. Luke turns around and greets her happily. Mali-koa seems to be getting more and more beautiful with time. She’s as pretty as her brother is handsome. “Stop holding him so tight, you’re gonna break his bones,” she teases Calum. Calum mumbles something back and instead, he squeezes Luke to bring him closer.

                After dinner, time has come to get ready for the night. Mali-koa is sleeping here in the attic with Jack while Luke is going to Calum's place. His things are already packed, and anyway there surely are clothes of his he forgot in Calum's closet by now. Luke wishes a good night to his family then Calum and he get going. It's a short walk but very pleasant. Though it isn't that late yet, everything is dark and quiet. June nights are Luke's favourite nights because they are warm but nowhere as suffocating as in July or August. Calum and he walk side by side on the pavement. Without really knowing why, Luke feels like this is a very special day.

                When they arrive, they choose to play Fifa while drinking a glass of milk before they go to bed. And then, it's all about Calum's bare chest against Luke's back, and strong arms, and soft skin. Luke wishes nights like this lasted forever. Maybe he's finally found what he needs, in the end. As he relaxes slowly and pleasantly, he naturally begins to ask questions. A light dizziness is clouding his mind, just a little, just right. "Are you gonna tell me someday when you found out you liked me?" he says.

                It makes Calum laugh softly. "Yeah," he replies.

                "Now?"

                "Yeah," Calum repeats. "It was the moment I saw you again – like, when I was at your place. You were so...fuck," he says, tightening his embrace around Luke. Luke's heart beats faster now; getting to know more about this is learning love, or whatever Calum's feelings for him could have been called, at first sight – well, not really the very first – was involved. The part of his heart so fond or romanticism and fantasies flutters in delight.

                A smile forms on Luke's lips as he thinks about his part of the story. "I think I realized something was going on on the morning after the party from which Jack and you came back home drunk. There was that, that pair of...sweatpants on you and I don't know – it just happened," he says.

                Calum chuckles and nuzzles him for a moment, breathing in and out quietly. "We're fine now," he whispers in the end.

                "Yeah," Luke says. "I love you," he mumbles sleepily.

                "Love you too," Calum says before yawning. He presses a kiss on Luke's neck. "Sleep well."

                A smile forms on Luke's lips. "Sleep well."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea so this is the end  
> i'm planning to write more notably like a scary story or smth inspired by tinashe's music  
> AND since i'm feeling a bit lonely on the internet...why wouldn't you follow me on twitter or tumblr? i draw fanart and i reblog pretty stuff let's be friendsss  
> https://twitter.com/Juliaenerys  
> http://juliaenerys.tumblr.com/  
> love you <3

**Author's Note:**

> (this is supposed to be a note for chapter 1 but it always shows up at the very end of the work)  
> this was very very short but i promise i'll post the second chapter on friday night! and it will be longer and much much better <3  
> also if you're looking for songs that fit this story (i know you are c'mon) there's this one:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQT2HVfxJu4 (Stars - Dead Hearts)  
> or this one:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aL9ijzaz8iA (Basement - Ellipses)  
> or this one:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnQ8N1KacJc (Green Day - Good Riddance)


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